Hello Friends of Russia,
Last night it snowed about a foot (which is a few million centimeters), and then it’s been raining all day, so Russia is awesome! It’s all covered in sludge and mud. My feet have been sopping wet since 9 this morning, and it is now 7:30 p.m. I feel so awesome and [...]

dearest Komrades,
today there was no sun in Russia, which I guess is normal. “No Sun Ever” is the old national motto. we went to the hermitage, which is the russian equivalent of the louvre, which is the french equivalent of the metropolitan museum of art, which is new york city. it was gigantic, begun as [...]

Russia Update:
I write you from crazy Russian internet cafe. It is so crazy. I am in Russia!
We fly many hours and over many miles to be here in Russia with you! Five hour layover in Frankfurt, which is in Germany, which is in Europe. I slept on a bench. A man from Syria asked me [...]

Worker #3116 will be out of the office from November 19th through December 1st. If it is an emergency, please contact Sheila Cortez at extension 9833. I will be replying to email upon my return.

Does anyone remember the series of “Grosser Than Gross” jokes that circulated first through the halls of Tappan Middle School and then throughout the world?
I’ll give you an example:
What’s grosser than a pile of dead babies?
A live one trying to eat his way out.
And there was another one that is on my mind this [...]

Now, the Corporate Casual Headline of the Day for today, Wednesday, November 19th, 2003, is tremendously hillarious. BUT, I must admit that the writers at the Genius Times deserve a little slack. For this headline, much like the “No Longer Just a Cupcake” headline of days past (see entry “Still a Cupcake”) is in the [...]

This morning I noticed a small poster hanging over the receptionist’s computer that pictures a rose in a black-glass vase in an otherwise black room, with slim letters spelling out: Suite Scent. This is perhaps the strangest poster I have ever seen, not only because I can not ever imagine, EVER, being in the mind [...]

I feel like I am trapped in an asylum for crazy robots. There is a total disconnect in my social interactions, and I often find people staring at me like I’ve just vomited on their tits. Or, they wrinkle their brow as if I am staring at them. People talk to me and it sounds [...]

I thought there might not be a CCHOD today, but then the A.P. filed a very special story at 10:54 a.m. So, I bring you the Corporate Casual Headling of the Day, late but still spectacular and deserving of your attentions:
“Man’s Finger Stuck in Payphone for Hours”
(taken from the New York Times)
In this instance, the [...]

HP Turtleneck has arrived. She shows up once or twice a week and crowds me. Oh, and I forgot to mention that a girl who I will name T-Boz got her own cubicle, much nicer than mine, and she’s only been here for a few weeks. I think they hired her as a temp (like [...]