Anybody up for seeing The Passion of the Christ: Havana Nights this weekend?
Let me know.
Afterwards we can get drunk and have sex.

FUCK!
As if my life couldn’t get any more complicated (you know what I’m talking about Avril), now it has gotten more complicated!!!
There are many outside forces competing for control of my body, and it is all that I can do to try and wrest control from them and lead my own life. These are the [...]

DETROIT, Michigan (AP) — Rapper Eminem’s music publisher is suing Apple Computer Inc., claiming the company used one of the hip-hop superstar’s songs in a television advertisement without permission. “Eminem has never nationally endorsed any commercial products and … even if he were interested in endorsing a product, any endorsement deal would require a significant [...]

She’s got a dark-skinned friend that look like Michael Jackson
Got a light-skinned friend that look like Michael Jackson.
And thus started my day. Thanks, Kanyé, that was good.
Three Beer Thursday was another success. No-sleep Friday was another (projected) failure.
Also, does anyone know the statute of limitations on divorcing your parents? I know that girl did it [...]

Want to make some money? Well, you got to spend money to make money, so invest heavily in my surefire money making scheme!
Garbage Pail Kidz
Finally, a gross-out trading card for inner city youth! No longer will Urban Teens feel disenfranchised with the predominately white-middle-class culture of the trading card.
Freebasin’ Farakahn and Skanky Shaniqu’a are my [...]

I am starting a new Social Website!
Please register at www.acquaintancester.com
You can link up with your favorite acquaintances and send each other messages from the following selection:
“Hey!”
“Hey, What’s Up?!”
“Hello.”
“What’s Up!”
“Good to See You.”
“How Are You?”
“I’ve Got to Go, But You Should Call Me Sometime.”
“How is [Blank]?”
“Wassup!”
“High 5!”
“L8er”
“Hi.”
You can post up to three user pictures, but they [...]

Dear Shaft’s Cousin:
When looking to buy a new car, perhaps give the various dealerships your home number, or personal cell phone number, or even work cell phone number, rather than your desk work number, since YOU ARE NEVER HERE! It seems to me that the dealers, as hard as they try to be nice on [...]

My endless pursuit of more gainful and fulfilling employment also leads me to search out the best possible cover letter to help get me that killer job!
So, if you have a good cover letter I could use by just switching my name and address for your name and address, send it to me. Consider [...]

I think it would be funny if everybody voted for George W. Bush to get re-elected and then at the inauguration Ashton Kutcher came out and said “What’s Up America, you got PUNK’D” and then fucked the shit out of Demi Moore while Justin Timberlake sang “Rock Your Body.”

The one thing that I like best about celebrities is their ability, at times, to be just like us! They’re like us if we starred in movies and had a lot of money and then lost it all by buying houses that were too big, doing cocaine and marijuana cigarettes too much, and letting our [...]