Alicia Keys=Black Fiona Apple
Christina Ricci=Poor Man’s Helena Bonham Carter

The woman who sits in the cube across from me does either an internet jigsaw puzzle or an internet crossword puzzle every day during her lunch break. In her head it must be like, “12 O’Clock Noon, puzzle time, Cheryl!” I think this is very cute, but not as cute as her dyed hair and [...]

　　Everyone is impressed by letters written by Kamikaze pilot. Ican’t keep back my tears to read them. They joined to the Special Attack Mission and died purely to defend their country and people they love.
　　At that time,officially their letters were censored by troops to keep the military secret. They left their mind in letters,otherwise their [...]

You know, it wasn’t so long ago that it was all Ja Rule this, Ja Rule that. Where’s Ja Rule now? Note to thugs: when every single you release is a “love song” no one is going to love you for long.

Last night I dreamed that I was passing under this willow tree after a heavy rainstorm and I looked over to my left and President Bush was sitting in a chaise lounge reading a magazine, and I said, “Mr. President, I’m really sorry, sir, but I think that when I pass under this branch it’s [...]

Saturday I woke up at noon and there were no eggs in the house, so I went to the store and bought some eggs and some juice and some bacon, and the lady at the register was like, “Ooh, looks like you must have had a good night if you’re making breakfast at noon,” and [...]

AMUSE ME, YOU UGLY IDIOTS.

My parents have this lamp in their living room that I just saw in a spread in Details magazine, which either indicates that my parents are way more “with it” than all the evidence suggests, or that Details magazine is for grammys and grampys.
I’m behind the times, this is obvious (remind me to join friendster [...]

This date-rapist (wearing a shirt that said “Moustache Rides”) was sitting at the burrito restaurant with his friend, who would be a date-rapist if he had the looks. McCullen aptly described this friend as “the guy who watches the door at the party.” Note to this friend: no more stripey yellow polo tees for you. [...]

We were supposed to get cable/internet hooked up yesterday but the guy never showed up, and so Stevil was trying to get in touch with this lady at Comcassholes who apparently runs the company from her cell-phone, and she had been no help and had started saying crazy things, such as we already have cable [...]