Look, if you still don’t have a Halloween Costume, it is definitely not my fault. I, and the loyal critics of amazon.com, have provided you with a multitude of great ideas, and we’re smarter and funnier than you are. So, I hope you get lots of candy, because then when I beat you up my [...]

Just in case things don’t go so good on Tuesday, WE ARE PREPARED!
Last night I watched Hud by myself. Hud is a good movie. I’ve got a real soft (wet?) spot for all those early 60’s, pre-Inside the Actor’s Studio movies, when it was actually inside the Actor’s Studio, not a Bravo TV show, and [...]

To the woman walking around the office today dressed as Catwoman: What may have been a foolish career choice for Halle Berry is a horrific and terrifying costume choice for you. See you at the gym!
Here’s a joke I made up this morning:
Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Dos. Uno [...]

I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY! I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

I was trying to think of something that I care less about than the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series, but I can’t. Maybe Chris O’Donnell, but Scent of a Woman was pretty good if you can see past the pathos.
Yesterday was Clown Coffee’s birthday, so I went to dinner at his house. There [...]

I’M NOT AFRAID OF [Halloween Costume #15] ANYMORE!, March 6, 2004
Reviewer: Leah Bugna Styles (CALIFORNIA, USA) - See all my reviews
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT THIS BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE!! WE ARE ALWAYS TOLD TO “FEAR [Halloween Costume #15]” AND UNTIL I READ THIS BOOK, I KIND OF DID. NOW, THANKS TO NEALE, I [...]

I watched that show “Big Fat Pants” last night. It’s so good. If you like reality TV, or if you like to see fat people cry, this is for you. It’s about a bunch of fat people living together in a house and finding out what it’s like when fat people stop being polite and [...]

Wait, wait: I made up a joke this morning:
Q: How many stupid people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A lot.
We are living in a country of liars, so it is no surprise that both Stevil and McCullen claim to have not thrown away my pizza that was in the fridge. But then [...]

You’d think with the whole Judith Miller scandal still being tried in a court of law, not to mention the Jayson Blair scandals and what not, that the New York Times would be a little more careful in their reporting. But nay! In today’s paper there is an article dealing with the contradictory fact that [...]

Sunday, October 24, 6:54 PM
Worker #3116: I’m having trouble finding my costume.
Mom #3116: Well, we’ve still got some old costumes at home if you’re really running out of time.
Worker #3116: What, that wizard hat? No thanks.
Mom #3116: There’s a witch’s hat.
Worker #3116: …
Mom #3116: And a long, black cloak.
Worker #3116: …
Mom #3116: I think we [...]