All the Jews and all the Christians and all the blacks and all the whites and all the boys and all the girls had a big giant war to decide who was the best. When it was over they were all dead, so it was hard to declare a decisive winner, but I think it [...]

There is an article in the New York Times today about how these cryptography graduate students at Johns Hopkins University have cracked this uncrackable code. Basically, a bunch of car manufacturers have employed a Texas Instruments system that embeds a chip into the key, and the ignition will only start if the system recognizes the [...]

I’ve got some real concerns right now, because I’m down to the final disc of season one of FOX’s hit drama The O.C. This show has been a real emotional bedrock for me over the past month or so, and I’m just not sure what I’m going to do without it. I mentioned this to [...]

I kind of wish that when I explain my problems to Clown Coffee, that he wouldn’t just quote the Sopranos to me. Especially since he seems to get mad at me when I tell him it’s not helping.

“It’s like, you’re waiting for a bus, okay, and you’re just waiting and waiting and waiting, long past the point when you should stop. And by now you feel like a real asshole, and it’s cold out, and you know the bus is probably not even coming because some woman threw up strawberries on it [...]

Someone at work has made a little money jar and put it next to the coffee maker, you know, like they think they’re somebody. What the f? The whole point of that coffee maker is so I can have free coffee. If I wanted to give you money for coffee I’d make you wear a [...]

Have you ever seen the movie Dune? You probably have because it has Sting in it. Do you remember the part where the guy played by Kyle MacLachlan has to stick his hand in the itchy-burny box and if he can keep it there for a long time he will become an ultimate fighter? That’s [...]

A SLEW of sloppy love letters from hotel hottie Paris Hilton to her ex-beau, Worker #3116, have fallen into the clutches of PAGE SIX. The mushy missives, scrawled in a childish, blocky hand, shed light on the relationship, which ended last July after Paris was photographed with bruises on her face and a fat lip. [...]

Either Moby keeps an online diary, and there’s really no other word for it, or else a twelve-year-old has hijacked Moby’s “blog” and turned it into her own personal space for feelings n’ stuff.

Last night, as you know, was the finale of Real World Road World SuperFight! in which girls and boys from previous MTV shows compete for novelty-sized checks and novelty-sized travel vouchers. Did the boys win? The boys won. Do the boys always win? According to the boys always win. But there was a redeeming [...]