Stop! Ladies, Pray! A Man!
“It’s like, you’re waiting for a bus, okay, and you’re just waiting and waiting and waiting, long past the point when you should stop. And by now you feel like a real asshole, and it’s cold out, and you know the bus is probably not even coming because some woman threw up strawberries on it or something, but at this final juncture, when the decision is yours alone, you feel totally paralyzed, because if you walk away now then what was the point of all that waiting in the first place. Y’know?”
(Worker #3116, Age 14)
Did you watch Take My Wife, Please like I told you to? Well, you should have. I’m not going to recap it here, but suffice to say I’ve been speaking in a New Jersey accent all morning, and referring to myself in third person, like, “If I hed to say so raiet now, uh, no, no Worka numba tree won won sixah would neva do meditation agin.” (That last part was supposed to read like a New Jersey accent. I don’t know if it does. You are such a moron. Your rules are impossible.)
Also, and maybe this is just for Muttcatt, but what’s up with Gwen Stefani’s new “Pirates of Penzance” thing she’s got going on? Is she trying to corner the female gay icon market or something, because I think the peroxide blonde hair, the lanky body, and the predilection for bondage-inspired clothing is really going to get her there fast, and this whole pirate theme is just the brown cherry on top of the faggot cake.