I don’t remember a lot of things, but I do remember these things:
1. Getting round-kicked in the elbow and promptly suffering from a severe case of elbow cancer.
2. Chopper Corey, S. Middlekauf, Rod, and a bunch of other black-hooded-sweatshirt wearing kids arriving at a party and Mary Fiore saying that she felt like “The bad [...]

Mémé #3116: But she really has nice coloring. Say what you want, her coloring is beautiful.
Mom #3116: Well, she’s a boring public speaker.
Mémé #3116: Gorgeous coloring.
Mom #3116: But she didn’t know when she married him that she would have to give these speeches. She didn’t know what she was doing when she married him.
Worker #3116: [...]

Page 412 of I’m the Fucking Motherfucking Boss Around Here: The Life and Goodtimes of Worker #3116:
“I blinked hard, twice, and realized I was back in my room, in my own bed. The morning light poured gracefully through the diaphanous curtains. It had all just been a terrible dream. Or had it?
The End?”

I’ve always been confused by a lyric in Ja Rule’s “New York,” in which guest MC Fat Joe raps:
And I was just about to find god
But now that Ma$e is back I think I’d much rather find a menage
I wasn’t really sure what he meant by that…and the fact that he ran his finger down [...]

Actual Episode Titles for Remington Steele, Season 1:
License to Steele
Tempered Steele
Steele Waters Run Deep
Signed, Steeled and Delivered
Thou Shalt Not Steele
Steele Belted
Steeling the Show
Steele Flying High
A Good Night’s Steele
Hearts of Steele
To Stop a Steele
Steele Crazy After all These Years
Steele Among the Living
Steele in the News
Vintage Steele
Steele’s Gold
Sting of Steele
Steele in Circulation

Monday night was the false alarm, what with the late night phone call and the frantic on-line search, and the empty handedness at the end of it all, sad faces, a few tears, a lot of blaming and shaming. But, you know, these things have a way of working themselves out. So, what I’m telling [...]

Well, according to both Monday and Tuesday’s horoscopes, last night was supposed to be awesome for romance, but I just sat in my room reading a book about Great White Sharks. Come on, ladies, get with the universal program! But then this morning I heard on the radio that there’s big trouble in Mischa Barton’s [...]

If you pay any attention at all to celebrity gossip, then you know that the only thing anyone can talk about is Tom Cruise’s budding relationship with Katie Holmes. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said “budding relationship.” What I meant to say was [Tom Cruise's] “farcical publicity stunt to hide his homosexuality” [with Katie Holmes]. [...]

Clown Coffee: Hey, Clown Coffee, can you touch your elbows behind your back?
Worker #3116: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Clown Coffee: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Worker #3116: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Clown Coffee: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Worker #3116: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Clown Coffee: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Worker #3116: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Clown [...]

[Clown Coffee arrives to work in white jeans tucked into black leather boots]
Worker #3116: You look very–
Clown Coffee: Fucked out?
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: …
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: …
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: What?
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: …
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: It could just be an innocuous turn-of-phrase.
Worker #3116: …