Worker #3116: Which do you think is bigger, the Nobel Prize, or the Stanley Cup?
Clown Coffee: Prize.
Worker #3116: Yeah, you’re probably right.
Clown Coffee: …
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: …
Worker #3116: But I don’t think you can drink out of the Nobel Prize.
Clown Coffee: Cup.

There was a woman in the Hot Caff wearing an “I Survived Hurricane Charley” t-shirt.
Must get ready for work. Hmm…what to wear? What to wear?! Must look professional. It is important to keep up a respectable outward appearance. A successful business not only operates successfully, it also presents itself successfully. I know, this tacky [...]

I would just like to point out that The Aristocrats, the documentary about “the dirtiest joke ever told,” which opens today, was co-directed by none other than Paul Provenza…former host of Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Court.
It’s like my brain sends out radio signals!
Forty minutes of uninterrupted thought, with NO commercials, and none of that RAP!

You can’t really explain Satan’s Little Helper in the on-line diary format. My skill set and vocabulary are far too limited to really capture it. Basically, this little fat kid loves playing this video game that has graphics rendered in crayon. The game is called “Satan’s Little Helper,” and gameplay looks a lot like “Paperboy,” [...]

This morning, I saw the music video for Can I Live? by Nick Cannon (feat. Anthony Hamilton). Had I seen the video from the beginning, I would have heard the following lyrics:
Mommy I don’t like this clinic
Hopefully you’ll make the right decision
And don’t go through with the Knife incision
But it’s hard to make the right [...]

Am I the only one who is confused about the whole Lance Armstrong as Cancer Hero storyline? From all the literature I have read as an adult male between the ages of 20 and 34 who is conscientious about his health and well-being, balls cancer is highly treatable and often does not even affect the [...]

Q: Hot enough for ya?
A: …
Q: OUCH! You put your cigarette out in my eye!
A: Hot enough for ya? Asshole.
Q: Ouch! It really hurts!
A: Go fuck yourself.

Iraq isnt pointless and Suprman wouldnt hate gays but he doesnt approve of what they are doing.

Page Six reports a mildly disgusting piece of salacious gossip this morning in which Bruce Willis is trading old pick-up lines poolside with some friends, and “uses” one of them on a college sophomore. It’s not disgusting that he used the line on what I’m assuming is a 19-year-old, I mean, Bruce Willis will be [...]

Do you remember that old Nickelodeon show, Kid’s Court? This morning I was reminiscing about the only episode I remember, which featured an overweight kid taking his mom before the “Honorable Judge O’Meter”—as it should be, the justice of Kid’s Court was meted out by applause—for throwing out his collection of TV Guides. His mom [...]