The Anti-Time Movement Is Born
Clown Coffee: Hey, do you like time?
Worker #3116: Thyme the herb, or Time the magazine, or time the concept?
Clown Coffee: The thing that we do stuff in.
Worker #3116: The thing that we do stuff in?
Clown Coffee: Yeah.
Worker #3116: It’s okay, I guess. I think it’s kind of overrated.
Clown Coffee: Well I don’t like it, I’ve decided.
Worker #3116: What are you going to do about it?
Clown Coffee: Come out against it.
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: Publicly. We’ll see how long it lasts when I come out against it publicly.
***
Clown Coffee: Did you catch the reference I was making when I said I was coming out publicly against time?
Worker #3116: No. What?
Clown Coffee: Well, you know the part in Mommy Dearest when—
Worker #3116: —No. I don’t watch that movie because I’m not—
Clown Coffee: —Gay?
Worker #3116: Right.
Clown Coffee: Well…
Worker #3116: …
Clown Coffee: You watch it a little.
Worker #3116: Ha ha.
***
Clown Coffee: Of course you got the conversation all wrong.
Worker #3116: What?
Clown Coffee: I said “Are you sure you don’t watch it a little?”
Worker #3116: No, what you actually said was, “Don’t you watch it a little?” But that doesn’t read right so I had to adjust it. Do you want me to change it to “Are you sure you don’t…”? Would that make you happy?
Clown Coffee: Yes. Because the way you have it now, it’s a declarative sentence, as if I know about your personal life. But I don’t. I don’t know how much Mommy Dearest you watch.