Okay, first of all T-Pain, I gots to tell you that I love what you do with a vocoder. All your songs got that tight ass vocoder shit and you’re like “Oh shit, here’s another T-Pain joint!” It is tight. Okay, so, the beat drops and you’re standing in the driveway talking to your girlfriend who is about to go to work. Your neighbor, Mike Jones, comes out of his house to get the newspaper. No…no…I think it’s totally believable that Mike Jones would at least subscribe to the newspaper, but you’re right, he probably wouldn’t read it. But remember, we’re setting the scene. So, you’re saying goodbye to your girl, and what do you see next door? You see a moving van, and you see a beautiful woman carrying boxes into her new house. This woman is a stripper. She stumbles on the sidewalk and drops the box, revealing that it is filled with cash. You are like “Oh, damn!” As she stuffs the money back into the box your eyes meet and it’s obvious that the two of you want to bone. Your girl is like “What the hell are you looking at?” and you’re like “It’s all good, baby,” because you’re not actually lying, are you? “It’s all good” can mean lots of different things. It’s open to interpretation.

Cut to that night. You see this beautiful new woman getting into a fast whip and again you are like “Damn!” It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing standing on your front lawn in the middle of the night. The audience is already with you. As this bitch gets in her car she very obviously drops a set of keys onto the driveway and gives you a look that says “Nigga, come pick these keys up.” You do, and you let yourself into her house. Her room is filled with pink silk, and then we’re going to do this confusing thing where you’re watching women in their underwear, in various states of undress. It’s confusing because a) the stripper just left so it can’t be her, b) you’re looking out the window? into another house? and c) what? But these girls are going to be da bomb, T-Pain, and no one is going to worry about the narrative logic of what is happening as soon as they seem them panties.

Mike Jones comes out and does his thing. It’s all good! He flashes some ice including a diamond encrusted pendant that says “Ice Age” because that’s tight. It’s not lame to wear jewelry that bears the title of a popular computer-animated film for children.

Finally, you are in love wit dis stripper. You are at the club and this stripper is dancing for you and you are like ‘Oh shit, I am in love wit dis stripper,” and it’s like, it’s like beautiful, man. Fucking beautiful. And then at the end of the night this stripper comes out of the club and who is there waiting with his hot whip to take her home? It’s her man. You! Yeah, you’re her man now! And she gives you this look like, “Aw, you are so sweet, boo,” and you give her this look like “I am going to give you a backshot tonight.”

Word.