Are You Retarded? There’s No Retarded in Baseball!
I got this email the other day that was supposed to inspire me and also open my eyes to the beauty of Christ I think. The basic gist of the email was a man giving a speech to his congregtation at church. His speech centered around a basic question: “If man is God’s perfect creation, where is the perfection in my son, who is retarded?” The man then goes on to relate an anecdotal story about walking through some candy park next to gumdrop lake with his son and seeing a bunch of functioning human boys playing baseball. The retarded child wants to join them. The father is concerned that the other boys will notice that his child is retarded and set the boy on fire. But one of the teams is losing very badly and the game is almost over, so they figure what the fuck? They agree that the retarded child can go up to bat in the final inning. But then, astonishingly, the teams are tied and it is the bottom of the ninth and the bases are loaded and there are two outs and the retarded child is up to bat. I know it sounds incredible, but that’s what the email said! So the retarded child goes up to bat and hits the ball straight to the pitcher. Ha ha. BUT WAIT! The pitcher doesn’t throw the ball to first base, he throws it to the outfield. And then the outfielder purposefully fumbles the ball. Everyone makes obvious mistakes so that the retarded boy can run around the bases and score the winning point, at which point both teams come together and lift the boy onto their shoulders. HE IS A HERO. The father, still speaking in front of his church, argues that God’s perfection is found in the way that people react to his retarded son.
FUCK THAT NOISE.
Seriously, though, it doesn’t take any great effort to be nice to retarded kids. If anything it’s much harder to be an asshole to them. Anyone can throw a baseball game, it takes a real lamb of God to knock that retarded kid into the dirt and scream “YOU ARE OUT, BITCH, I TAGGED YOU.”
July 13th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
LOL moments really can happen on the internets for me. Who knew?
July 13th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
definitely a candidate for best of c-c
July 14th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
i’ll pray for your ass.
July 14th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Very moving story and I laughed all the way to the Scores but unfortunately it is flawed. If the bases are loaded and the game is tied, poor little Forrest would not be the winning run.
September 15th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
“Seriously, though, it doesn’t take any great effort to be nice to retarded kids. If anything it’s much harder to be an asshole to them. Anyone can throw a baseball game, it takes a real lamb of God to knock that retarded kid into the dirt and scream ‘YOU ARE OUT, BITCH I TAGGED YOU.’”
That is a very immature view. You should be fucking smacked, oh, a few 238912812339028098321095 times for that, ass hat. Have a nice day, fucker =D.
December 26th, 2006 at 11:14 am
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