Hate This Fridays!
The aesthetics of saran wrap. THE DISGUSTING AESTHETICS OF SARAN WRAP.
There’s no greater super grossout in the world than a wad of used saran wrap. Especially when there’s some kind of, like, smear of tomato sauce or mayonnaise on it. I would rather eat food out of a panty liner. That’s not true, but it sounds true. I hate the way it feels kind of slimy, and I hate the way it fucking smells. It’s like wrapping your leftovers in a condom. Now that part is true.
I say aesthetics because I’m not immune to the charms of saran wrap’s practical applications. Sometimes other wraps will not get the job done. But if I had my druthers everything would be wrapped in wax paper, the most aesthetically pleasing of all food storage technologies. Here’s the other thing about saran wrap: it’s poor. Poor people use saran wrap, and poor people are assholes. If you were walking down the street and you saw an asshole bum and you tried to give him some saran wrap he’d probably tell you “No thanks, I already have some because I’m a piece of shit.”
Eminem’s mom uses saran wrap.
The worst way to die in the whole world would be to be suffocated with some saran wrap because your last thought just before you shed this mortal coil would be like “this is what it feels like to be some left over hummus with little broken off crumbs of pita in it that you lost the lid to the container but you know you’re not even going to fucking eat it, and I’m going to go to heaven smelling like a condom.” (Call back!)
October 20th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
I believe it also is made of pvc and releases plasticizers and vinly chloride into food.
all in all, fuck plastic wrap
by the way, saran wrap is a brand, and calling it that is like calling cotton swabs q-tips or photocopiers xerox machines, you cunt
October 20th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
you are a sick fuck
October 21st, 2006 at 9:26 am
I wanted to say something, and then I was all like ‘Dude, what if that inflates his ego? and then I was all fuck it! cause I’m bad like that…”
Seriously, that post was genius, now if only I could figure out how to clean off the coffee I spit out on my roommates computer whilst reading it
October 21st, 2006 at 9:08 pm
Now I know how I’ll kill you, because if I can’t have you, no one else will.
October 22nd, 2006 at 6:47 pm
my hate…people who talk about spitting coke/coffee/spit/their brother’s cum on their computer because an Internet post made them laugh. it’s a fucking lie. liar.
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:47 pm
hate away sandy pants, but the fact remains that i have indeed spit coffee on my keyboard after reading the phrase ‘Satan’s Fiery Meatus’ one morning on the Internet, which makes YOU a liar. a liar and a whore.
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:55 am
team gingerbread,
The beauty of using your roomate’s computer that that you don’t have to clean up the spilt coffee on it.
October 24th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
What ever happened to wrapping yourself in saran wrap and greeting your beloved husband at the door? (true story)
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