Flatbed and Breakfast
This morning I saw a pick up truck parked on the street, the color of which can only be described as LILAC. This is my favorite truck because it says “I can haul, but I also have an appreciation for potpourri.”
Who buys this truck? It’s not manly, and it’s not butch dykey (which is a kind of manly). It’s probably like the woman I saw on Let’s Make a Deal the other night who was wearing a big football jersey and who cried when she was offered season tickets to the Steelers. You know, the type of woman who is like “the only way to come to psychological terms with the gaping chasm of emotional disconnect I feel with my intellectually stunted husband is to pretend that his interests are my own to such a feverish extent that I actually lose sight of my own selfhood.”
That bitch would totally drive a fucking LILAC PICK UP TRUCK.
October 27th, 2006 at 11:40 am
I always start with why would someone living in the city need a truck to begin with. Or anyone who doesn’t have a job or a hobby that requires transportation of large and heavy materials for that matter. Then you add the lilac color to the mix and that’s all kinds of puzzling. Interior designers who do their own bricklaying and cement work? Wedding consultants who have gazebos for rental that they’ll install at your convenience? A professional scrapbooking league that transports materials for all 200 members? Extreme decoupagers who this year are taking on the side of a mountain?
October 27th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
I think that bitch lived down the street from me when I was a kid.
October 27th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
You forgot to mention that also she’s a big, fat pig and the only way to get her husband to fuck her is to look like Jermone Bettis.
October 27th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Jermone?
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