Berkin
In the last few years, bags have become ever more voluminous, and as women have fallen sway to their chunky charms, they have filled them up with necessities. These days many women are as burdened as mail carriers.
(New York Times)
Setting aside the part where this is a whole article about how people carry bags and bags are heavy, let’s just focus on what we’ve got right in front of us. Women, do you know what a neccessity is? It is food, water, oxygen, and a steady sleep cycle. Now that I live in the BIG CITY I’m willing to throw in a few additional necessities, just to show you that I know what I’m talking about: keys, wallet, lip gloss, Voss luxury water, three magazines, an entire box of Kleenex, a cellphone, a Blackberry, an extra pair of shoes, tampons, pads, an iPod, gym clothes, a hardcover book by Gary Shteyngart, eye-liner, a half-eaten Luna bar, a digital camera, two Netflix you want to drop off in the mail, a checkbook, an orange…Wow! I guess you do need a gigantic bag that costs a month rent to carry all of these important things you can’t leave the house without.
Also, um, when did mail carriers become the most burdened creature on Earth? Last time I checked, they had trucks, and when they decided to take it to the streets, they pushed around those saddle-bag carts. I just think there has to be a better metaphor here, like “camel,” or “Atlas.” When I think mail carrier, I don’t think “burdened,” I think “stop crushing my magazines.”
December 7th, 2006 at 10:39 am
Tampons ARE a necessity. I’ve got an entire box of them in my big, classy bag.
December 7th, 2006 at 10:47 am
and we still manage to save room for your keys, hat, wallet, book and all the other shit that doesn’t fit in your pocket, yet does not warrant perhaps, carrying your own bag “because you’re not gay.”
p.s. you forgot sunglasses, Yasmin and sugarless gum
December 7th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
“i hate it when you cum on my face,” she said, dreading his departure.
December 7th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
http://images.google.com/images?q=mail%20carrier
December 7th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
grrrl, you know i need both pads and tampons for my heavy days.
don’t front.
December 7th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Sometimes it’s good to have concealer too because if you smudge the eyeliner, you can just cover it up.
And a change of underwear, usually boyshorts and a thong, cuz you never know.
I want to invent a bag with a Netflix pocket that somehow alerts you that you’ve been carrying Arrested Development S2:Disc2 around with you all week and have ignorantly passed five eager mailboxes already and that’s why the next one hasn’t come yet.
December 8th, 2006 at 10:42 am
Wow, gals, you’re beautiful and terribly designed, like a Jaguar xjs.
December 10th, 2006 at 1:10 am
it’s spelled birkin, not berkin
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