Last night, at the gym (NATCH), I was doing this ab machine when a personal trainer came over. “Hey man,” he said, “do you want to do something much more effective for your abdominals?”
Uh, yeah!
So he sort of does this “come into the back room” hand motion and takes me over to the personal [...]

Ladies, I love everything about you. When you get older you really come into your own and you have gross bodies but you don’t even care and stuff. I will fuck you in the bathroom. Here I am, I’m so great, what’s the deal? I just want to get married to a lady, but she [...]

I got all excited to open my new six-pack of socks this weekend, only to discover that I’d bought those little ankle socks? Who buys those? Teenage girls and dudes with sore butts. That’s the thing about New York, though. If I had bought these socks back in [redacted], it would have been out of [...]

A few weeks ago on the phone, Mom #3116 said “If you want to say hello to me in your blog (her word), you can.” Then last night I got a card in the mail telling me how great I was SIGNED MOM 3116. I can’t tell if this is the best or worst development [...]

The noise level in the chamber seemed more muted, as Democrats exercised their new majority by sitting on their hands and staying off their feet during many applause lines. Republicans, who had promised to be “boisterous” to make up for their diminished numbers, greeted Mr. Bush with a series of “ho’s!”
(New York Times)

You and I [...]

There has been a lot of buzz lately about NBC’s Heroes, almost all of it surely generated by NBC’s crack publicity department, but so be it. I never watch shows out of order, which is why this new thing of being able to watch shows on the internet is a great boon for the networks, [...]

I was at the bodega last night buying one cucumber and a box of cereal because that is how I roll. While I was waiting in line, I noticed on the shelf behind the Russian salesgirl, mixed in with the imported chocolates and truffle oils, a box containing a candy g-string. This is a g-string [...]

Since http://www.corporate-casual.com is the world’s leading resource for breaking Chris Brown Has AIDS news, I will continue to bring you the latest updates on this important story. And since http://www.corporate-casual.com also seems to be the only resource for breaking Chris Brown Has AIDS news, most of these updates will just be comments that black people [...]

I watched Rambo: First Blood for the first time last night. Over the holidays, I watched Rocky for the first time. I’m fascinated by early Stallone and how his image has been reappropriated by popular culture. In both of these movies he plays a soft-spoken outcast who never had a chance. But my pre-conceived notion [...]

[Two guys talk to each other in the locker room at my gym. Shortly after the exchange they both head to the showers where they can continue the conversation, as well as bathe.]
Guy 1: So she’s helping me and I’m just like, Okay, if I’m going to buy something, today’s the day. Right?
Guy 2: [...]