Inedible Underwear
I was at the bodega last night buying one cucumber and a box of cereal because that is how I roll. While I was waiting in line, I noticed on the shelf behind the Russian salesgirl, mixed in with the imported chocolates and truffle oils, a box containing a candy g-string. This is a g-string made out of candy, the kind of candy they make candy necklaces out of. Not only is that like making a g-string out of those bead-massage chair coverings that cabbies use for their sciatica, it’s also disgusting candy. But I was looking at this thing and thinking about the “string” part of “g-string,” i.e. the thin branch of candy that goes up someone’s butt. Now I can’t get the image of that poop candy out of my head.
It also came in “bra.”
January 23rd, 2007 at 10:40 am
Candy undergear I can understand, but what kind of a bodega has truffle oil?
Sounds like a pretty bodacious bodega! (I’m going to go get a trademark on that name, quick.)
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:25 am
Edible underwear are hot!! I don’t see anything wrong with them as long as your with a clean person.
January 23rd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Besides truffle oil, kind of bodega has a Russian salesgirl? I think you may have been inside a “grocery store.”
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:49 pm
“Gourmet grocer.” They also sell at least 43 different kinds of first-press super extra extra virgin olive oil. I’ve seen this candy lingerie there among the imported chocolates and such, but how many boxes can they possibly sell? To that clientele, asking the salesgirl to hand over those naughty, sugary little bits would be as awkward as a pubescent boy requesting condoms in a small-town drug store.
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:59 pm
mmmm, shitter sugar.
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:08 pm
creepy, I too bought 1 cucumber and a box of cereal last night. I suddenly dont feel so pathetic.
January 23rd, 2007 at 5:15 pm
is this the “gourmet grocer” (def. not bodega) on court and pacific streets in brooklyn? cause they have russian sales girls and candy g-strings too. my roomates (they’re bf/gf) bought one, i saw in their room. ew/weird. might have been the bra actually, but still.
January 23rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm
i used to buy cheese in that store (if “pacific green” is the bodega you’re talking about), but it always tasted like windex.
i wonder if the candy panties taste like windex too.
one of the few places you can get pink lady apples. those are good apples.
January 23rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm
How do you know what Windex tastes like?
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:42 pm
One word alabawiki:
Windowlicker.
January 23rd, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Dude,
First, I have to agree with your fanlings, whom have already stated it: no bodega has truffle oil. No bodega has Russian salesgirls. None. And if they did they wouldn’t be called bodegas.
So I call bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
Now, tell us a story about why you were buying a lone cucumber and cereal. That could be hoTT!!
Oh, btw, I saw a MACRAME’ thong-bikini swimsuit on 35′th st between 7th and 8th in November of 2006. Top that.
-dr
January 23rd, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Let me know if the Russian salesgirl tastes like windex. Then you’ll know what’s really been going on. mp.
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:09 pm
my gourmet (air quotations) deli sells Massengill. total lifesaver.obvi
Monday was the most depressing day of the year, btw. the unethicist was pretty funny, regardless of the emotional holocaust
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:28 pm
That’s funny… Did you know that they make the same set out of pocky and mint Life-Savers?
I’m lying. There’s no way I could top that. Or (heh) chomp on that.
January 24th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Ooh, mint life savers “down there”! Now that’s sexy, but just stay away from the altoids version. Could hurt yourself. -mp
January 24th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
If we’re calling bullshit, how about Dickrebel’s use of ‘whom’?
November 18th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
yk
Leave a Reply