A Show That Does for My Eyes What Five for Fighting Does for My Ears
There has been a lot of buzz lately about NBC’s Heroes, almost all of it surely generated by NBC’s crack publicity department, but so be it. I never watch shows out of order, which is why this new thing of being able to watch shows on the internet is a great boon for the networks, at least when it comes to their target audience of adult males between the ages of 28 years, 5 months, and 6 days and 28 years, 5 months, and 7 days, who live in New York, and are me. Being able to watch an entire season allows me to start at the beginning as my neuroses demand, and thereby get sucked into a franchise and all that its advertisers have to offer.
So I watched the first episode of Heroes last night. It was fine. I like super powers and I also like cheerleaders, so there is some natural appeal here. But in one of the opening scenes there is that Indian guy? Who is a professor of super power theory? He is giving this lecture to his students and he says something to the effect of:
Mankind thinks it is at the forefront of evolutionary progress, but I present you with the cockroach. It can survive for months without food, it can live for days without its head, and it is resistant to radiation. If God created any creature in its image, I would argue it is the cockroach.
Now, I am not a particularly spiritual person, but I just find it (even) hard(er) to believe in a God whose “image” is survival at all costs and living in sewers and streaming out from under the door of the Uruguayan dude who lives across the hall from me and lights incense in the hallway. And I know that that was kind of the point, like “oooh, this super powers professor is so provocative with his provocative ideas!” but here’s another thing: who wants to survive a nuclear holocaust? Do you know how shitty that is going to be? Even God doesn’t want to roam the barren Earth in tattered leather and homemade chainmail, fighting over gasoline and fertile wombs. Not to mention the wasteland will be swarming with fucking cockroaches.
Heroes: +/-1
Indian Super Powers Professor: Ridiculous
January 24th, 2007 at 11:23 am
‘It can live days without head’- big fucking deal, I’ve gone months. Coackroaches are bitches- everyone knows that.
January 24th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I’ve shut my ears to the voice-overs and the discussion of evolution and human potential in order to get the most out of Heroes. And by ‘the most’ I mean the cheerleaders.
January 24th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Yeah I don’t remember the part of the Bible where it says God is resistant to radiation.
January 24th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Yeah I tried to watch it too,it seemed like X Men and Lost mixed together and made for retarded people. Then Ali Larter started heatedly arguing with herself and I turned it off/died inside.
That Indian guy is hot though.
January 25th, 2007 at 9:43 am
james 12:13 and they didts fire a nuclear warhead at god and he didst shake it off and dists tell them “what what, im immune to radiation bitch, get out my way”
January 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am
you’re really going to love the episode where the cheerleader gets naked.
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