This Is an Online Diary, So Naturally I Talk About the Socks I Bought
I got all excited to open my new six-pack of socks this weekend, only to discover that I’d bought those little ankle socks? Who buys those? Teenage girls and dudes with sore butts. That’s the thing about New York, though. If I had bought these socks back in [redacted], it would have been out of the question to keep these clown socks. I would have returned them immediately by driving to the store in my car like a human being. Here, I’m like “Well, now I wear gay tennis socks. That’s something I do. Because fuck you if you think I’m going all the way into the city to take these back to the store.”
But you can’t just wear these socks out in the open where anyone will see you. So they are my new gym socks? Which makes them even gayer? Now all the steroid guidos are going to know how delicate my ankles are!
In other news: what was up with that dinner? Am I right? Wobbly chairs and three wine lists and the mystical strains of a sitar? What?
January 29th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
First off, gay men would never wear such socks. Case in point–I don’t and you do. Second, anal sex does not make your “butt sore,” you should know this.
January 29th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Is that the socks you got at Century 21? I know how you feel, because I’m even further away from Ground Zero / Century 21. So I couldn’t really return ‘nem ties I bought there either, if I wanted to. Besides, I would be afraid of the salespeople at Century 21. While I was waiting to buy the ties, the salesgirl told her supervisor, an older man who was giving her directions on doing a return, “Stop it! You’re confusing me! F**k you!”
January 29th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
I wear those socks. They’re good for running in the summer so you don’t get weird tan lines around your ankles. In January though? Worthless.
Have I revealed too much?
January 29th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Wear them with legwarmers. You’ll be all set.
January 29th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
I think Jason is right about gay men probably not wearing those socks, but I didn’t realize it until his comment. It seemed totally feasible to me. But now I’ve seen the light. Strike one for homophilia! Which, if considered the opposite of homophobia, is not even the misnomer you thought for a second it might be.
Anal sex probably does make one’s butt sore, though. I heard stories in college.
This is my first drunk comment on a blog in like 3 years. Popcorn!
January 29th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Dude that’s winter socks, that shit is for real.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:58 am
I like your blog, but what’s with all the gay this, gay that?
January 30th, 2007 at 10:34 am
Paul:
Worker3116 is just trying waaay too hard to assert his non-homosexuality.
And yeah, it is a pattern. weak.
-dr
January 30th, 2007 at 11:39 am
I always buy my socks on the corner of 14th and 6th. No plastic packaging, no surprises.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I have a feeling that worker3116 penned that insightful Gawker ToDo entry as well. Now THAT was lame. Tailored shirts made from a quality material are nice? Who knew?!? Thanks, GQ!
You know what else? Flying business class is much nicer than coach, but also more expensive! AND ADDICTIVE!
(If someone else wrote that entry, I apoligize, but only a little, because Gawker sucks, and anyone who works for Gawker also sucks by proxy because of all the smugness, the unending, undeserved snugness, thank you, THE END.)
January 30th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
the ankle socks will look cute on you when you wear your jean shorts.
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