We Can Kick It Like Tae-Bo
Last night, at the gym (NATCH), I was doing this ab machine when a personal trainer came over. “Hey man,” he said, “do you want to do something much more effective for your abdominals?”
Uh, yeah!
So he sort of does this “come into the back room” hand motion and takes me over to the personal training station and shows me an ab exercise on the inflatable supertights powerball. So I’m trying this new exercise and he’s like “How does it feel?” and I’m like “It feels…good?” And he smiles and nods and walks away.
So I’m thinking, that is so nice of this personal trainer to give me some of his professional knowledge in order to carve my abdominals into a steel washboard made of pure aggression, when I look over and see him talking to whoever is now working out on the ab machine, asking them if they would like to know a much more effective exercise.
I realized he didn’t want to help me, HE JUST HATES THAT MACHINE SO MUCH. He wants that machine to never get used. He sits up at night being like, fucking hate that machine, I am not going to rest until everyone is using the stretchy moistball 3000 and is feeling the stretch in their abdominals, that is your starting position. That machine is totally going to eat it.
In other news, this happened as I was listening to the radio last night:
Radio: Remember when you almost volunteered at a soup kitchen?
Worker #3116: No.
Radio: Remember when you were going to give blood at the blood drive?
Worker #3116: No.
Radio: Remember when you were going to deliver a hot meal to your neighbor with AIDS?
Worker #3116: Hahaha. NO!
Radio: This year, make a promise–
Worker #3116: Wait! My neighbor has AIDS?
Radio: –to help others–
Worker #3116: Can we please go back to the part where my neighbor has AIDS?
Radio: “Smack that, all on the floor, smack that, till you get sore…”
January 31st, 2007 at 10:13 am
Who listens to the radio? At night? Do you also listen to the drive-time Zoo Crew in the morning, like a poor?
January 31st, 2007 at 10:18 am
If the personal trainers at your gym are like the personal trainers at my gym (24 hour fitness), the personal trainer telling you about the ab workout had a gut and probably doesn’t do any ab workouts.
January 31st, 2007 at 10:55 am
Will you shut up and read the radio part? It’s hysterical.
January 31st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Oh, the radio part is very funny (thanks W-MMMCXVI!!!). I just thought it was weird to be kickin it around the apartment to Hot 97 on A School Night. I DEMAND PLAUSIBLE COMEDIC SCENARIOS.
January 31st, 2007 at 2:08 pm
My radio told me to kill people who use Roman numerals… hang on that might have been the weather channel. The weather channel is a lieing , trouble making, bitch.
January 31st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
When I talk back to the radio my wife just gives me more of the yellow pills.
January 31st, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Comedy Central presents had a comedian last week tell the radio joke. Not original, but funny.
January 31st, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Wait, what?
That was not a joke. I actually talked to my radio last night while I was doing dishes.
But I would like to see this comedian. Do you have a clip?
February 1st, 2007 at 2:18 pm
wait wait don’t tell me is the best!
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