Archive for February, 2007

A Bowl of Sex Mix

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Worker #3116: How come there’s never sex at these parties?
K-Gov: …
Worker #3116: Seriously.
K-Gov: …
Worker #3116: I’m serious. They need to have more sex at these parties.
K-Gov: …
Worker #3116: You know, food sex.
K-Gov: Sure.
[Later]
Worker #3116: I’m not kidding about the sex thing.
K-Gov: Sex?
Worker #3116: S-N-A-C-K-S.
K-Gov: OH! SNACKS! I thought you were saying “sex.”
Worker #3116: I even [...]

I Want to Wad You Up Into My Life Much?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Web 2.fart

So, I was doing what I do, and I ended up on fart.com. At first I was disappointed by fart.com’s interface, and seeming waste of a totally great web address, but I had to admit that their useful “Sections” directory had everything you could want:

Fart Store? Check.
Fart Question?? Check.
Magic? Check.
Then of course I was delighted [...]

Unacceptance Speech

Monday, February 26, 2007

I don’t watch the Oscars because, as I told Clown Coffee, while it’s fun for people to pretend that I am gay, I am not actually gay. More importantly, I’m just so tired of this ritualized spectacle of commercial obeisance, where a nation bows its head to the holy market. It’s a chance for a [...]

Try and Alienate as Many Readers as Possible Week, Day Four!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Inside joke!
Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside [...]

Try and Alienate as Many Readers as Possible Week, Day Three!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Try and Alienate as Many Readers as Possible Week, Day Two!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Try and Alienate as Many Readers as Possible Week, Day One!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Life Is Beautiful

Friday, February 16, 2007

[Darkpony is taking a weekly figure drawing class. It costs six dollars.]
Darkpony: I have a theory. If you had to pose nude–
Worker #3116: Which would never happen.
Darkpony: If you HAD to.
Worker #3116: Um…
Darkpony: It’s life or death.
Worker #3116: You mean, like, the Nazis have taken over America and forced me to pose nude for their [...]

A Couple Questions That I Did Not Feel Were Sufficiently Answered at the Bar Last Night

Thursday, February 15, 2007

You can’t seriously be telling me that rubbing cocaine on your gums makes them numb because it floods your gums with serotonin?
On what day, of the seven, did God create the Kraken?

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