From: TB
To: worker3116@gmail.com
Date: Apr 28, 2007 4:09 AM
Subject: I am done, and clearly “a threat to myself.”
i. I’m Tired and Bored of my “viral marketing” if you will.
ii. You’re assholes.
iii. I have nothing better to do, and nothing to “live” for.
iv. You think I’m bluffing? Good for you. I’ll PROVE to you that I’m [...]

For the past ten years (Jesus Fucking Christ, I just broke a hip typing that), China Jet and I have been having the same argument. His position is that there used to be a cartoon about a boy who turned into a sports car whenever he got warm. My position was that there was never [...]

I was reading this article [LINK] about toygers (half cat, half tiger, three quarters “clever” nickname), which I will admit are pretty sweet. But a big part of the article is about how when toygers become available for ownership, they are going to be the most expensive, most elite status symbol pet ever.
WRONG.
I recognize that [...]

Note to the guy I saw on the train this morning with what can only be described as a bright orange “rape whistle” strapped to his backpack: haha, you got raped and now you are scared.

Tonight at Mo’s at 9pm: Ritalin Readings! Lineup:
This show’s vague theme is “Marry/F**k/Kill” and the 4-minute time limit per reader will be enforced with supersoakers 99 cent store squirt guns.
Hosted by Lindsay Robertson and me.
Produced by Jon Friedman (The Rejection Show)
Readers:
* Jami Attenberg (Author, Instant Love, now out in paperback!)
[...]

Isn’t it weird how Keith Richards murdered all those children in the boiler room of the power plant where he worked only to have the townspeople take justice into their own hands by throwing molotov cocktails at the building, trapping him inside while he burned alive, and then those three dream demons came and offered [...]

Chevy Chase sure has been in the news a lot lately. I don’t know about you, but I can‘t wait for(ever for) the release of his authorized biography, I’m Chevy Chase…And You’re Not. It’s kind of weird when a book comes out with a cover that is already haunted by the spectral sticker [...]

Dear Monica,
I’m sorry that this has to be public, but I figured that maybe if everyone knew how you had been acting, then maybe you would get it together enough to make what we have mean something again.
First of all, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? We hang out, and it’s totally cool, and then all [...]

There is an old-school Hummer in my neighborhood. What? Hey, Gulliver, get the fuck out of
Lilliput. So today, I am walking to the subway and Major Retard is parked on the sidewalk and as I’m approaching this thing that is so dumb, I notice something is hanging from the tail-hitch. Something clearly non-functional. Decorative. It [...]

I can’t decide which is cracking all the shit out of me more this morning, this picture:

Or these lyrics:
It ain’t no joke I’d like to buy the world a toke
And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars
Hey I know it’s just a song but [...]