Walking on Easter Egg Shells
Okay, so after Jesus was resurrected, he either ascended right away during dinner? OR he hung around doing some adjunct teaching for another 40 days?
I just think either explanation makes the whole ordeal kind of upsetting. Like, as soon as you get over the fact that your buddy, Jesus, is back to life after what? The three days it took for him to die on that thing? Then you’re sitting down for some bbq and dude is like PEACE OUT DAWGS! without even handi-wiping the sauce off his fingers. And you are like, dude? What? Couldn’t you have skipped the step where we were broin’ out? Stay in your cave!
And then the other version is like, 40 days is not even enough for a summer semester. And then you’re like, cramming all night the night before, and you get up and you’re fucking hungover but this is going to be the big pop quiz and you get to class and Jesus IS IN HEAVEN? And then the door opens and it’s all like “Hi, (hop hop) I’m the Easter (hop) Bunny. I will be (hop hop) taking (hop) over for Jesus for the rest of the year. (hop hop hop) Please open your bibles to page 33 and let’s get (hop) started.”
FUUUUUUCK.
April 9th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I TOTALLY know what you mean. Like, my friend Adam from law school just kinda fell off the face of the earth after the bar. And then like months later he contacts me and says “dude be in my wedding” so I was like, ok. So I rent a tux and go be in this wedding party and it’s all like at the synagogue on Long Island which I found really weird that we’d have a big party like in the temple, but whattever and then BAM the wedding’s over and dude just totally disappears again. That was like 12 years ago. Never heard from him again. Jesus and Adam man. Is this just something jewish guys do or something?
April 9th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
christ on a stick man…
what the fuck are you talking about?
April 9th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
suit. maybe he doesn’t like you because you are boring
April 9th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
But Jesus loves me. This I know.
April 9th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Maybe Suit is hot and Adam just wanted a good looking dude in his wedding photos. You know, like chicks do with their bridesmaids. Were the bridesmaids hot?
April 10th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Maybe Adam was some pale, bloated, scank-ass standing next to him so he would look good. Were the bridesmaids all methmouthed out?
April 13th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I agree, neither option sounds happy. I mean, he’s in heaven, so we should see him again up there, but we have to wait…and I do NOT like the idea of the Easter Bunny teaching the bible. I dislike that very much. Also, definitely bridesmaids are chosen to make the bride look skinny, FYI. Fatter/uglier/worse dress the better.
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