Internet School 101: A Quest to Blow Your Mind (nullus)
Here is your journey:
Use your understanding of the internet to get from Dennis Kucinich, nominee for President of the United States, 2008, to this:
Extra credit for anyone who doesn’t have a MySpace page.
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Dude…how many of the 309 pages of friends did you go through to find fern boy?
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:02 pm
None.
You get an F-
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:12 pm
The seventh son of Frank and Virginia Kucinich was conceived in January of 1946 when the lovely Croatian couple was forced to stay indoors to avoid inhaling fumes from the ablaze Cuyahoga River.
Yadda, yadda, yadda he became the 53rd Mayor of Cleveland from 77-79, lost his re-election bid, moved to LA, became a vegan & banged Shirley MacLaine so she’d pay his mortgage.
A shift supervisor at the food co-op (shown above) where Kucinich earned his 1982 reported income of $38 recently revealed, through his Radical Faerie blog, that Kucinich is in fact his babydaddy & has yet to return his calls, 5 pounds of kale & pup tent which he took with him when he returned to Ohio: “The Heart of It All.”
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Oh, I get it. You’re crazy.
And wrong.
F+
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I tried but I don’t have the kind of attention span required for a quest such as this one. I would have gotten the extra credit too…damn it.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:29 pm
So wait, is that an F+ including my nonMySpacer extra-credit?
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Oh, aren’t you clever!
I’ve re-evaluated your grade.
You now get an F-
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Brutal.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Your search - “gheys for kucinich” - did not match any documents.
and with that, i gave up.
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:50 pm
does it have something to do with this?
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:05 pm
MIKE GRAVEL IN 2008!!!
I’m voting Gravel, are you? He knocked my socks off (nullus) at last week’s Dem debate.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
i want the answer plz.
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
does it have anything to do with the fact that 1 in 10 of kucinich’s friends on myspace have names like ‘legalize?’
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
He’s the person that the character “Arborious” from American Dad (one of Kucinich’s favorite shows) Season 1, Episode 18 entitled “Fiances With Wolves” is modeled after.
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Clearly you just thought to yourself, “Well, you can’t get any worse than an F-, so fuck it.”
But you are wrong. Now you have an F-double-minus
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Sweet!
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:14 pm
The correct answer has to be…the amounts of minutes seriously devoted to figuring out the answer is directly inversely proportionate to the percent of chance you have of impressing or getting any closer to having sex with Gabe.
Extra credit if you remember on your own that you didn’t even care to until he had a column on Gawker, you fucking hipster.
That said, I have no idea who the beautiful goddess is but something about his Lens Crafter frames gives me the notion that he’s one of those asshole “hippies” that has plenty of tofuburgers and pamphlets on veganism but doesn’t even smoke weed.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:37 pm
dude who invented ben & jerry’s … kucinich likes ice cream?
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:09 pm
This is as far as I got
http://www.seattlechatclub.org/UFOWatchKitty.html
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:10 pm
We’re supposed to get from Kucinich to a guy who does leprachaun cosplay sex games?
And that’s suppoed to be hard?
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:30 am
Thought I was pretty close when I got to rawspiritfest.com, but no luck. Why is this site so awesome? One of the “Sacred exercise guides” is an old lady with a foliage/pineapple bra who teaches roller blading. Super awesome because it lists roller blading as a “sacred exercise”.
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 am
we do not need the internet to tell us that voting for dennis for president will lead to all members of his cabinet resembling the crazy hippie - this is common sense
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:47 am
You’re not gonna give us the answer are you
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I’m voting for Mike Gravel, he rocks — blew my socks off too. Also, I’ve known about this blog waaay before Gabe went Gawker.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Does it have anything to do with this guy? http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=77877154
I don’t have a myspace page - so i can’t get pictures, but this dude looks awfully familiar on Dennis’s myspace.
If not, library school has failed me. Damn you Pratt.
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:27 pm
trick question. dennis kucinich is not a nominee for president of the united states 2008. he is a potential democrat nominee for the presidential race in 2008. not a nominee ’till he gets voted as such at the convention. not president, assuming he wins, until 2009.
May 4th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Oh yuck, Genevieve.
YOU LOSE THE WORST.
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