This Is the Pin That Is Most Like Fucking
I’ve been taking jiu jitsu for about a month now, and as much as I enjoy getting back into some SERIOUS DESTRUCTION FIGHTING, I’m still not used to the musky homoerotic undertones of this school of martial arts. With tae kwon do, you kicked people in the head and you put your hand through cement slabs. Done. In jiu jitsu there’s lots of one guy laying on the ground with his legs wrapped around the back of a guy looking down into his gorgeous brown eyes, both of them doing everything they can to master this:
Gay. Also, painful.
So that is my cross to bear. I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually, just like I got used to wearing a gi and doing kiyas in public. But so last night the teacher was showing me how to pin someone’s arms using your ankles, knees, thighs, etc, and there was this one arm bar where you have your hip up in the person(on their back)’s armpit and you tuck their elbow into your inner-groin, trap their forearm behind your rear leg, and thrust your hips forward (against the elbow, BREAKING IT), and I could have sworn that he quietly said, “This is the pin that is most like fucking.” EXCUSE ME? I thought that the way we were all going to learn how to pulverize clowns was by ignoring the clear linear relationship between what we are learning in these classes and gay anal sex.
FUUUUUUUUCK. (Literally). (Also, nullus on this whole post, obviously).
May 8th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Please, enough with the NULLUS!!!
May 8th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Aw, that’s so cute, anonymous commenter.
You think that I’d listen to you rather than just praying to God that you drop dead.
May 8th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
& you wonder why people come here looking for porn?
There’s something about reaping & sowing that could be said, but whatever.
By the way if your form is anywhere near as good as the guy in the blue pictured above & you wanna try being double-punched, I’m quite the fisting top.
I can provide references if you’d like.
May 8th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
“nullus,” heehee. that never gets old. “no homo,” on the other hand, that got old. but nullus won’t. all your bases are belong to nullus!
May 8th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
success! Gabe responded to me! It’s all I’ve ever wanted!
May 8th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Dennis, like tennis, is spelled with two n’s — unless you’re denis leary.
May 8th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
On my first read-through of the comments, I thought I saw “raping and sowing”. Now I see that I was wrong, but it’s so much less interesting the “real” way.
May 8th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
What if you’re jiu jitskiing with someone of the opposite sex? Are you allowed penetration? Maybe just the tip? If you’ve got them pinned you’ve earned a little penetration, haven’t you? Or is it more of an “honor” thing?
May 8th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Sorry Missy, I’ve never been good at being interesting, especially to women.
I do, however, think that the above picture could be used to show how you handled Arch & his asshole on the “Live-Blogging The 5-Boro Bike Tour (Nullus)” post.
May 8th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Thank you (I think?). I’m not sure why people read this and make comments like ‘blogging about a race=being a circus freak at a race”. And not to brag or anything, but I came in first in the “Uninteresting to people of either sex” competition.
May 8th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
wait until you learn the triangle or learn to take the back of your opponet. Gracie Jiu Jitsu rules!!!
May 8th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
I don’t know how to break it you, but II think you were learning jujism.
May 8th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
not used to the musky homoerotic undertones?
hahaha….
sure
May 9th, 2007 at 10:27 am
So I was fucking this guy kind of side ways doggie style (nullus) and I could have sworn that my partner said “this fucking is the most like a jiu jistu pin”. EXCUSE ME? You can get your own tissue when we’re done.
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