First Ever Contest #3116: Comedy by the Numbers
Either out of boredom, laziness, or sheer stupidity, I am holding my first ever contest. My friend sent me some copies of this book, and now I am going to give one away to one of you fucking assholes, because I hate you, and I hate my friend, and I want to waste one of these books on some retarded clown (again, you).
(click for more info)
So here is how the contest works:
Find a post from the archives of corporate-casual and make it funnier. I know that you guys think you’re a fucking riot (I’M LOOKING RIGHT INTO YOUR BEADY SKULL EYES, BALLS MCCOY, WHO WILL KILL ME ONE DAY.)
Take a post and improve upon it. Email your improvements to contest3116@gmail.com. That’s it. Your chances are pretty good, because only about one person will actually do this, and it will be Lindsay, and she’s already getting a copy. But you should also know that I have no problem playing favorites and will give this free book to a friend or relative at the drop of a fucking hat, so you need to bring your a-game.
GOODNIGHT.
Legal: I reserve the right to do whatever I want.
May 24th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
You could just have someone put up a spoof page with all your entries sprayed over with the MS Paint spraycan tool and big giant text that says
SHUT THE FUCK UP
over and over and over. But whatever.
May 24th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
iF U WAS KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA NIGGA
THAT KILLED U!
…_…|.._____________________
……/ `—___________—-_____|]
…../_==o;;;;;;;;____________0= = = =D
…..), —.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), —-”
…//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about
including me if you care. C how many times
you get this, if you get 13 your A TRUE
HOMIE
May 24th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
I’m pretty sure there is no way to make Worker#3116 to Be a Father any funnier so everyone should just stay away from that one
May 25th, 2007 at 12:59 am
I always liked this one the best:
“fart fart fart. fart fart farty fartfart. fart fart fart.
do you rember that time at the bank store? melowyelow”
I really just corrected some og the typols what did i won?
May 25th, 2007 at 1:23 am
wait. this ones my favorite. do you rmemeber?
“you bene gesserit whore!”
omg. I loled for days!
May 25th, 2007 at 6:59 am
No one tell Deborah about this - she’d steal everybody’s thunder.
May 25th, 2007 at 10:19 am
I was going to ask if you were going to publish the “entries,” but I see everyone’s already doing it for you.
May 25th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
I had written a thoughtful reply to this post, but then the security code saw to that. My thesis, though, was that this site is essentially:
youdamnkidsgetoffmylawn.com
How long before we see Worker #3116 wandering around rest stops yelling at stray dogs?
May 25th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
When are these due? Do you accept pornographic content?
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