Flipping Out
As promised, here is the Bravo’s “Flipping Out” subway ad that I cannot get enough of. How excited are you for this? Fuck you. I don’t care. But seriously, how many things are wrong with it?
This ridiculous woman who for some reason balances an open cell phone on top of all her papers is actually the least problematic thing on the poster. Although, besides the open cell phone thing, how many legal pads do you need to show a house? I would think one. You could use both sides of each sheet. I am wrong. The answer is apparently four. All of them should be pristine and unused, and you should stack them akimbo and bend your bowlegged knees and wear too much make up and have your boobs falling out and make blow-job face.
OK, I have nothing but respect for interns or assistants or whatever. I know that it’s frustrating to do grunt work, especially with our modern collegiate system that costs more than $100k so that every over-privileged, over-entitled half-wit in the country can learn beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are a special snowflake. But you pay your dues. You also get a bag or a box of some sort TO PUT ALL THAT WATER IN, THAT’S SO MUCH WATER, WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH ALL THAT WATER? WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE MORE THAN ONE TRIP? WHY DO YOU LOOK SO DUMBFOUNDED? YOU DROPPED ONE OF YOUR WATERS! YOUR BELT BUCKLE LOOKS GREAT, WHAT WOMEN’S DEPARTMENT CAN I FIND THAT IN? SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, SO MUCH WATER.
Hahaha. No comment. OK, one comment: love it.
What does this scary talking dog have to do with real estate? I don’t see it carrying even one Blackberry. I WOULD NEVER BUY A HOUSE FROM THIS DOG. It also does not have ID tags, which is illegal.
We get it, you’re gay. The real thing that bothers me about this section of the poster is how tall that “For Sale” sign is. Too tall. It’s the size of a man. These lawn signs are usually about waist-to-mid-chest in height. This thing is six feet tall, and retarded. Drama for Sale. That’s the other thing: “Drama for Sale” sucks, and it took four development meetings to come up with that. You know what, this guy sucks, go back to the Mexican maid vacuuming dirt in the lawn. Also, you can’t see it very well from any of these pictures, but the house in the background is actually three separate houses Photoshopped together into one stupid garbage house. But also, go back and look at the Mexican maid vaccuuming dirt in the lawn.
July 16th, 2007 at 10:56 am
i know a lot of you losers watch a lot of reality tv. ok, do what you want with your own free time, i mean we can’t all read books. but no one’s ever been able to explain to me why i should watch a show about horrible people with no redeeming qualities doing boring jobs like real estate and stressing out and fighting and being catty.
also is that NOT julia louis dreyfuss? i’ve been staring at her for 10 days now and i still can’t figure that out. if she’s not julia louis dreyfuss, you just know she has to correct people like all the time, and it makes her a little sadder each time.
July 16th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Also, the gay real estate guy looks an awful lot like George Hamilton. Which, if it were, would make me want to watch this show. As it is, this is the stupidest f-cking poster and show in the history of stupidity.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:56 am
I saw this poster in the subway and thought that the guy standing by the sign was the gay devil and that he’d given the dog the power to come to life and attack me if I got too close. I didn’t even see the intern or the Mexican which is like art imitates life, or whatever.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Annie Leibovitz did this photo composite
July 16th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Sally, you totally beat me to punch on the George Hamilton thing, damn you.
If you watch the commercials, the BJ-Faced girl is so dumb that she is shown (probably edited together) actually reading the phone greeting from a note she has taped to her desk.
And the water guy is just a sign that Bravo tries to cross-germinate all of their marketing because in the commercial he’s the stager who has to have all the labels fronted in the fridge or else get bitched at.
The dog is the broker dude’s, so I guess that we are to believe that the Rosario character in the ad is his property too and therefore not racist.
Also there is way too much going on in the logo. The “flipping” of the two Ps and the thing with the O. Either pick one, or put both words in one line and have all the letter be the same size.
Yeah, I’ll be watching. Though nothing will ever live up to “Being Bobby Brown.” Even though Paula’s on her way.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Julia Louis Dreyfuss’ tits aren’t that big.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Oh, kids. If you’d read the description of the people that are going to be in this show, then you’d know where the true humor lies:
Bravo to debut new ‘Flipping Out’ home flipping reality show on July 31
By Christopher Rocchio, 07/02/2007
Bravo has announced the premiere and cast of Flipping Out, a new Flip This House-like reality series which will follow the staff of a Los Angeles real-estate firm as it purchases homes and quickly renovates them before flipping them for a profit.
Flipping Out is scheduled to premiere Tuesday, July 31 at 10PM ET/PT.
Each episode of Flipping Out will follow Jeff Lewis, a Los Angeles real-estate investor with a colorful personality, as he and his staff purchase homes and quickly resell them for a profit. Bravo describes Lewis as “an obsessive compulsive successful businessman,” who attempts to counteract his tendencies through therapy as well as visiting spiritual healers and psychics.
“I found a business that validates and celebrates my disorders,” said Lewis.
However running his real-estate business is often not a simple task for Lewis, who considers his employees his friends and must walk the fine line of maintaining both a professional and personal relationship with them. If facing daily problems at various job sites weren’t enough, Lewis is also constantly fretting about his beloved cat, Monkey, as well as dealing with his obsessive-compulsive tendencies and having to work alongside his former boyfriend and current business partner Ryan.
“Let’s face it, the people I have working for me aren’t necessarily the most qualified individuals,” said Lewis. “But the people that take care of me and my home and my pets are the most important part of this business. They can’t leave. I can’t do this without them.”
Flipping Out is produced by Authentic Entertainment, with Lauren Lexton and Tom Rogan serving as executive producers. The six members of Lewis’ staff — as well as their positions in his real-estate business and their Bravo supplied bios — are:
- Jenni, Lewis’ executive assistant who is usually seen wide-eyed with disbelief. Ever the optimist, she tries to protect her co-workers from Lewis’ rants. “He’s crazy, but a lot of geniuses are crazy,” said Jenni of her boss.
- Steve, Lewis’ first house assistant whose patience is tested when he is asked to take Monkey for acupuncture. “I have to put the bottles in the fridge with all of the labels facing out or there will be hell to pay,” said Steve about working for his obsessive compulsive boss.
- Brandt, Lewis’ second house assistant who feels he doesn’t “get paid enough to deal with” his boss. Subsequently, Lewis fires him as he quits.
- Chris, Jenni’s husband whom Lewis calls the “Trash Man.” Lewis gives Chris yet another chance to be the third assistant, but his lack-luster performance has the boss questioning his decision again. Jenni quickly comes to her husband’s defense. “I think I’ve been fired five or six times, but I think I’m capable of being the third house assistant,” said Chris.
- Zoila, Lewis’ housekeeper who proves to be a rock in her boss’ crazy world. Never fazed by his rants, she is there for his every need.
- Ryan, Lewis’ former boyfriend and current business partner, he tries to be the calm one in most situations, but Lewis always seems to find something to disagree with him about.
Mmmmhm….this is TOTALLY happening.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I want to shove a giant Taco Bell burrito in that dog’s mouth.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Sweet lord…a dog who asserts the queen’s english. your NY subways DO have it all.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Oh, whoops, I also forgot to mention:
Orange safety cone just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk which would be weird but not out of place at a real construction site, but was deliberately placed there by whoever Photoshopped this poster, making it very fucking weird actually.
July 18th, 2007 at 10:44 am
I watch a lot of Bravo (nullus) and this guy has had his lips done. Which is just one of the many reasons why he should be a subject of your “Kill this guy” posts. What really gets me is that he has a “cue card” for his assistant in case she “forgets how to answer the phone”.
What an asshole.
July 18th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Can someone please figure out what the pink thing is on the maid’s apron, because it is bothering me immensely. It looks kind of like a megaphone but her hands are no where near it to be holding it up. And why would a maid need a megaphone while vacuuming dirt off the lawn?
July 18th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
It looks like a bottle of some sort of spray cleaner. As for how it is able to levitate? Not too sure.
July 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 pm
i mean, did anyone see the commercial where the assistant is all, “and i’m a rapper”??
and then she FUCKING RAPS a voicemessage to some guy just being like “yo joe, this is flo…give me a call back yo.” or some shit.
::jawdrop::
July 25th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
All these Bravo reality shows keep popping up to glorify otherwise-mundane professions (seriously, even if it’s your dream job, the daily grind is the daily grind!)… but REAL ESTATE? Isn’t that the punchline right there? And who the fuck cares who Jeff Lewis is?
I’d rather watch Who Wants to Be a Superhero any day.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Has anyone actually seen the show? Is it any good?
July 28th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I can’t believe you didn’t spotlight the tagline: “The Reality of Realty.” I am sure that the people behind this show could not get over themselves with how fucking clever that line is….even though at first glance it reads like “The Reality of Reality”.
But it must be great, right? Because Reality and Realty are almost the same word? Just one letter off? It’s genius right? I’m happy I’m doing this job and not writing that novel I thought I would have published by now, right? This is good enough, isn’t it? Isn’t it?
(gunshot)
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