The End of Culture
So back in April, I saw this trailer:
If an infallible God created an infallible scientist who then created an infallible super-computer that then generated the “Worst Movie Accessible to the Human Mind Without Mechanically Deconstructing the Process of Assumed Free Will” it would be this movie. Also, nice face, Dane Cook. Your face is like the movie Gattaca except instead of parents genetically engineering the perfect children, they just genetically engineered so many pockmarks.
But then back in Saturday, I saw this trailer:
ADORABLE. I’m not the one saying it’s adorable. If you go to the official website, goodluckkillyourself.com, this trailer is named “adorable.” While I respect the marketing geniuses of Hollywood to pull their golden cigars out of their imported-Spanish-tiled-asses long enough to recognize that maybe three minutes of eye rape isn’t the best way to publicize a movie, I also wonder just how stupid we are that it is believed this new trailer will do the trick. “Hmmm, I have no idea what this movie is about, but that pretty lady sure is clumsy. Ma, stop burning that 10 dollar bill, I got a new use for it!” Also, I’m calling Jessica Alba “Murphy’s Law” from now on because if something can go wrong it probably stars Jessica Alba (I’m looking at you, Fantastic Four franchise, but I am not watching you.)
So that mid-campaign shift seems weird to me, although it’s not unlike when they put Jennifer Lopez in all the advertising for Jersey Girl even though she died in the first five minutes I am told because I will never see Jersey Girl. But now look at the new PRINT CAMPAIGN for this thing:
OK, so just to wrap up: Good Luck Chuck is a Chuck Klosterman novel about a super clumsy girl who loves sexual ice cream that you hate falling in love with because she spills so much ice water on your penis and who works as a diversion from the fact that actually she is a horrible, horrible movie that would make the guy from Amistad cry because all those people’s shoulders he’s standing on would be like “whoops, nope, you’re on your own.”
August 28th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
agreed.
this just does not look good. good luck awful movie.
that’s a nice american apparel ad though.
August 28th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Except American Apparel ads are actually less creepy.
I give this movie the su-finger. And AIDS.
August 28th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
So it’s 50 First Dates (sans the tropical locale) with (supposedly) prettier people, a guy whose semen is like (for him anyway) the opposite of Love Potion No. 9 and a bit of Shallow Hal thrown in for fun?
I’ll just watch Flavor of Love reruns thanks, at least on that when someone shits on the floor they own it.
August 29th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
i like alba, hse is hot. the fantastic four was alba, i mean kinda alba. but definitely alba. this movie looks alba. ALSO DANE COOK SUZCKS
August 30th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Shouldn’t she be falling more? If Hollywood has taught me anything (using Julia Roberts as a prop), and it has, it’s that unfunny female characters+falling off something=hilarity.
Leave a Reply