Jessica Alba Just Want Make Yuck Yucks
JESSICA ALBA: Yeah, I’ve always been wanting to do comedy. That’s one of the main reasons I got into this business in the first place. I’ve always loved to make people laugh and it was the way that I sort of broke the ice when I was a kid with my friends. I’d always do little skits or do little things, do anything really, to make people laugh. Oddly, in this business, I never really got a shot at it. I’m not good at the half-hour comedy ba-dum-bump stuff. I’m more into the physical comedy.
(CNN)
Jessica Alba’s first album will, of course, be titled “Half-Hour Comedy Ba-Dum-Bump Stuff”. Here is a track listing (subject to change).
1. Intro
2. When I Wash My Hair, You Guys, I Follow the Instructions on the Shampoo Bottle
3. What’s the Most Money You Think You Could Spend on a Pair of Jeans? Double It, Then Get Them for Free from Your Publicist
4. Sushi (Skit)
5. This One Time I Was Hanging Out with Jack Nicholson in a Hot Tub, You Guys
6. Did You Ever Notice How There’s More Leg-Room in First Class?
7. Grape Nuts
8. One Time I Farted and Gold Came Out (Skit)
9. What’s the Deal with Cashmere Blends?
10. I Tell Reporters I’m a “Total Dork” to Try and Avoid the Public Image of a Self-Obsessed, Vapid, Talentless Sex Object Who Only Has About Three More Years of Career Left Before Slowly Drinking Myself to Death in a “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” Scenario Come to Life, Which Is More Accurate.
11. Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Well, the Answer is No.
12. Farts and Butts
13. The Difference Between Having Sex for Money and Being Jessica Alba Is There Aren’t Any Temper Tantrums in Having Sex for Money
14. A Joke I Stole from Dane Cook
15. I’m Surprised I’m Not a Cocktail Waitress, Too
16. Darfur (skit)
17. The Sexiest Woman Alive Still Stares Into The Gaping Maw of the Eternal Nothing When the Sun Goes Down
18. Outro
September 26th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Hidden Track: I May Do “Movies,” But My Vagina Does “Films”
September 26th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
“Farts and Butts” killed on the set of “Into the Blue”. It reintroduced Josh Brolin to laughter; laughter he hadn’t experienced since “Thrashin” and getting 30 grand a month from mama Streisand.
September 26th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
She’s the girl version of George Clooney. People laugh at her jokes, sure. Probably not because they’re funny, though.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
she’s more like the girl version of Paul Walker–an empty skull with a permanent, confused smile.
September 27th, 2007 at 9:46 am
she’s MOER like the girl version of a hot girl who’s really hot, and who cares what she does because she’s making exactly the amount of money she should in a capitalist society for being so hot. ALBA YOUR MIRROR, JE$$ICA
October 4th, 2007 at 11:30 am
She’s got to be kidding, right? People who were blessed with good looks, believe they can do and be anything they want. There’s something to healthy self-esteem, but not when it becomes narcisisiam. Give it up please. What makes you think we want to see more of you, or that you are worth the $?
November 13th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Jessica Alba has a purdy mouth
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