“Cloverfield 2: The Edge of Reason”

SPOILER ALERT:

I really, really wish that these two lovers had survived the monster attack because I wanted them to have to look at each other every day for the rest of their lives and say “All of our friends died, all of them, so that we could break up two years later and have joint custody of a child neither of us narcissists is particularly interested in raising. The temporary satisfaction of feeling like our lives had meaning in the midst of an Apocalyptic monster attack, in the face of which one obviously overemphasizes the emotions attached to certain people in their lives so as to not feel as scared and alone was worth the deaths of everyone we knew, deaths that might have been avoided if we weren’t so selfish and they weren’t so bizarrely subservient. But, you know, hindsight 20-20, am I right? Guys?”

I think we know who the real monsters of Cloverfield were, right babies?

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