The young warrior wended his way through the trees in darkness, spear at the ready. The previous day’s mastadon hunt had left him muscles weary, but his mind was alert, and he knew that great prey, enough to feed his vast tribe, was within reach. His thoughts darted momentarily to the beautiful female who awaited [...]

Hot stuff. Cool beans.
Larry Murphy (Adult Swim)
Andres Du Bouchet (Conan O’Brien)
Dan Allen (Comedy Central’s Premium Blend)
Megan Ganz (The Onion)
Colleen Werthmann (Law and Order, The Sopranos)
Jon Friedman (Ritalin Readings)
Hosted by Lindsay Robertson (cable subscriber) and Gabriel Delahaye.
Afterwards, DJ Marzipandrew will be spinning mostly Lil Wayne’s “Da Drought 3″ in chronological order after the show. Very [...]

If you live in New York, then you’ve been seeing a lot of this guy:

He’s the new homunculoid spokesperson for the New York Lottery, “Little Bit of Luck.” He’s on subway posters, phone booths, and also TV.

Gross and weird, right? Well, what if I told you that “Little Bit of Luck” was a perfect example [...]

Womp womp. Oh well. It seemed like a dream team, Mariah Carey and Jack McBrayer could have been our generation’s Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, or at least this year’s Heat-caliber casting powerhouse. Instead it is obvious that someone just said “We need a nerd, any nerd,” not realizing that they had gotten the caviar [...]

(New York Times)
That picture makes me LO loud. Apparently the best time to talk to your child about AIDS is when you happen to run into them at the morning keynote address at the Davos G8 summit.

AICN reports that Universal has struck a deal with Hasbro that would result in four movie adaptations of popular board games. With the fabulous job that was done on Clue, it’s no wonder they want to make more of them. They just waited 23 years to make sure everything was perfect.
But they can’t just take [...]

Man. What a great weekend.
What did you guys do this weekend?
Did you drink Singhas ringside at a Muay Thai fight in the financial district?

Did you have an amazing Chinese hot pot dinner party in your apartment with all your pals?

No? Awww. That’s too bad. I’m sorry. Here is the world’s tiniest dick being jacked off [...]

Sachar sent me a link today to a very Web 0.5 style homepage for Sugar Bush the Squirrel, the world’s Superstar Squirrel. It’s a squirrel wearing costumes related to the news. There’s a Super Tuesday one, and a squirrel watching the Super Bowl one. You know, the kind of stuff that the internet (n.b. The [...]

Dear Audience from Last Night’s Magnetic Fields Show at Town Hall,
Fuck you. I hate you. With your glasses and your sweaters and your need to let everyone know that you are enjoying yourselves. Granted, I was wearing glasses and a sweater and enjoying myself. But the thing that really got me was when you would [...]

After all of your years of complaining, I have changed my commenting security system (security so that spam comments about boner medicine go directly to my printer and then into the three ring binder where I keep “IMPORTANT INFO”.)
See how you like it. If you’re really stupid, this might not work for you. It’s kind [...]