An Open Letter to the Audience from Last Night’s Magnetic Fields Show at Town Hall
Dear Audience from Last Night’s Magnetic Fields Show at Town Hall,
Fuck you. I hate you. With your glasses and your sweaters and your need to let everyone know that you are enjoying yourselves. Granted, I was wearing glasses and a sweater and enjoying myself. But the thing that really got me was when you would scream and applaud at the beginning of songs with this seeming surprise, as if you couldn’t believe that the Magnetic Fields were playing Magnetic Fields songs? The set list last night was great. They played “Epitaph for My Heart” and “Yeah! Oh Yeah!” and “All Dressed up in Jeans” and “The Book of Love” and “Take Ecstasy (With Me)” and cetra. But some of you were laughing a little too hard, and some of you needed the people around you to understand that you got it a little too desperately.
Last night I had the same experience I had when I saw Being John Malkovich, a movie that I hate, perhaps because of the experience of viewing it with people like you. I’m not saying people should always be quiet, although maybe that’s a good base rule and we can define exceptions from there. You don’t hear me laugh-coughing so hard that flecks of dinner got on the back of the Oxford collar of the guy in front of me. You don’t see me turning to my friends and stage-whispering “I remember this song from when I listened to it.” The effect of an audience is the same as a movie adaptation of a book. It forces an impression into your head of how you’re supposed to react, and just as much as I don’t want to picture Robin Williams as Garp, I don’t want to have to guffaw just because Shirley Simms sings “I Hate California Girls,” which is not, btw, that clever or interesting or even amusing of a song if you compare it to the gender-and-genre-bending catalog of House of Tomorrow. Impress your girlfriend some other way, please, Row M, seat 121.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I was disappointed in you, audience. You weren’t unique or exceptional in any way. You were totally a normal audience, and overwhelmingly well behaved, and still I detest you. It’s like Spinks said, “I think these are my people, but I am not sure I’m happy about that.” Put that in your ecstasy tab and take it.
Just not with me, please.
W.
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
i love you! I was there and agree wholeheartedly with everything you say…..They sucked!
February 23rd, 2008 at 3:17 am
I always thought I was a vile misanthrope for being annoyed by people visibly enjoying themselves at gigs - thanks for validating my antisocial tendencies!
February 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
Oh and P.S., here’s an mp3 that even the most rabid Stephin Merritt fans probably haven’t heard before, BUT I HAVE.
Show-off.
February 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
please stop going to live shows. wait for the dvd.
February 25th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
I can’t believe that many people acted as if they unabashedly loved something.
I mean, Magnetic Fields are whatever. Ya know? They’re good, but not great. Too cute. They’re no Burial. Not that Burial is like my favorite band or anything. I don’t really even have a “favorite” band. I mean, music is so unoriginal these days.
February 26th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
you are a total f*in baby, mr. (s)
if it was a room full of fat, bald, thumb sucking weinies you’d complain in exactly the same way. * where are all my hipster buddies*
where would you all be without your sweaters and glasses dude?
why don’t you just stay home if the world is so offensive to you??
I thought the audience was quite tame/decent considering it was NYC, it could have been a lot more pretentious, a lot worse. You didnt even include the show in your “awesome weekend recap”
what’s wrong with you man?
February 27th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I will admit that I adored them in my own fangirly way at the show (I giggled a few times AND even got a little teary-eyed during As You Turn to Go). But I thought it was kinda lame and a little distracting that people were laughing like they had never heard the songs before. Don’t mean to sound like a pretentious fuck, but who goes to a Magnetic Fields show never having heard Yeah! Oh, Yeah!?
I wouldn’t say I hated the audience, though. Coming from Montreal, it was kinda nice not having a bunch of wannabe Vice Do’s crowding around you. And even though the audience laughed a little too hard, they definitely couldn’t have stopped me from enjoying the show. The set list was varied nicely, the venue was beautiful and despite being pretty large, there was still a great sense of intimacy. So, in the end, I was happy and happy to show it.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
“I think these are my people, but I am not sure I’m happy about that.”
This quote sums up my entire feeling towards “Indy Rock” right now. I think I’m getting old. Alcohol will solve this!
March 29th, 2008 at 10:44 am
I agree. If you’re at a MF show, you’ve heard the songs and gotten the jokes before. No need to guffaw loudly so everyone knows you get it. And some b*tch behind is was pseudo-singing (only annunciating the ’s’ sounds) so we all knew she knew every word. Ridiculous! Almost everybody there knew every word. You are not a unique snowflake.
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