OH. Oh am I so mad about this thing.
Look, we all make mistakes. Me ESPECIALLY. We just admit them and we move on. We metaphorically throw the rest of the blueberry meuslix in the garbage and we allegorically remove it from our future shopping carts, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. So things could have [...]

I’ve been really against WeightWatchers for a long time because it’s food for women. I knew that it didn’t have the vitamins and nutrients that a man needs for all his man activities. It was food for three kinds of people:
1. Women
2. Gay Men
3. Rabbits
But now I am just really in the mood for WeightWatchers [...]

Not that I didn’t pour some out (I didn’t pour some out) for my McCainiacs last night. Every single one of those inaugural balls was a racist’s nightmare (or a Sarah Palin rape fantasy). Not one mention of a boot up Iraq’s ass? We’re still talking about the Presidency right?

Oh great:
‘It is unclear why the producers chose Mr Young whose main claim to fame is f***ing over Graydon Carter, being an EPIC FAIL and who maintains an entirely deserved reputation as a self-serving whiny drunk pissant,’ wrote Joshua David Stein on Gawker, a New York gossip site. ‘My friend Gabe deftly pointed out he [...]

I have a couple things that I can say about last night without getting into SPOILER territory for future work-related projects, but:
1. Barbara Walters in real life looks INSANE.
2. Sheri Shepard is actually stupid.
3. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is very pretty, too bad she is a nightmare (like Barbara Walters face).
That being said, it was time to [...]

I bought some blueberry meuslix at Trader Joe’s this weekend. Don’t even worry about it. Some of us think the morning is the best time of day to TREAT YOURSELF. Whatever. It was probably a mistake. I think I even knew that at the time. For one, it was too expensive. I’m not sure what [...]

This makes me so mad for some reason:

Her life will suck without me? Like suck bad? No, suck a lollipop? Her life will suck a lollipop without me? Ouch. Ouch my brain. It’s like the worst mixed metaphor because it’s not even a metaphor. It’s just lazy. “This word means two things.” That was the [...]

Look, I’ve said my share of things. We all have. I’ve made jokes about blowjobs. I’ve dropped the n-bomb. The internet is nothing if not a dumping ground for the latent adolescent impulses of people who aren’t smart enough to have real ideas. But lately I’ve been getting extraordinarily fatigued by the tendency of virtually [...]

New Year’s Resolution.
Because Fuk Tumblr!
Guess who’s back.