Inside joke!
Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside [...]

Clown Coffee would like all his fans to know that he will be on This American Life tomorrow. I can’t imagine that anyone at NPR knows how to use the internet, so check your favorite progressive alt-weekly for local listings.
Nnnnn…it’s EXCITING!
Speaking of NPR, I heard this show on it last night that was all about [...]

clowncoffee: I told him tht he was basicaly a p**sy and an a**hole
worker3116: a pussyhole
clowncoffee: hey careful
worker3116: what
clowncoffee: i am at work use astersks
worker3116: oh okay
clowncoffee: be discreet
worker3116: a pussyhol*

Corporate-Casual mascot Clown Coffee has landed a lucrative job with the [redacted] Channel in Washington D.C. Within a week he quit his job at [redacted] and moved to our nation’s capital. Move over, George W. Bush, there’s a new retard in town!
We’re all very proud of him, and never thought someone so small could do [...]

Clown Coffee: Since it’s your last day here you should do a big photo tribute to me.
Worker #3116: I don’t have any photos of you.
Clown Coffee: I’ll get you some.
Worker #3116: What would I say?
Clown Coffee: Okay, you don’t have to do a big photo tribute, but I want something.
Worker #3116: [...]

Clown Coffee: It’s tragic what happened to Whitney Houston.
Worker #3116: Yeah.
Clown Coffee: So is it just popular consensus that she’s a crack-head?
Worker #3116: Yeah.
Clown Coffee: And that crack has had a negative affect on her health and state of mind?
Worker #3116: Yeah, but I think it might be a Rosemary’s Baby type thing.
Clown Coffee: …
Worker [...]

Clown Coffee pointed out this bumper sticker to me in the work parking lot yesterday:

He and I already discussed how gross it is, and how insanely unprofessional, and we also heartily dissected the moral dishonesty of it and the basic low rent gutter anti-humor.
But what I want to know is if you think that is [...]

Clown Coffee spotted a big fat lady (what Mémé #3116 would call “a triple-oinker”) walking down the hall with another big fat lady. BFL #1 was wearing a sundress and flip-flops. BFL #2 said “Oh, I thought about wearing my flip flops today, but I didn’t because:”
a) I’m not a fucking asshole who wears flip-flops [...]

Worker #3116: So, what’s your new “unusual name”?
Clown Coffee: Justice Gadget Louis Kennedy, Jr.
Worker #3116: Hmm.
Clown Coffee: Do you like it?
Worker #3116: It’s good. It’s a little traditional.
Clown Cofee: Why? What’s yours?
Worker #3116: Bagel-Ann Microfiche