Most men consider shaving a chore worthy of Sisyphus, who was damned to push a boulder up a mountain only to have it roll back down.
(New York Times)
The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly shave his face every morning, whence the facial hair would regrow anew. They had thought with some reason that there is [...]

Oh my there-is-no-God, you guys, I had the worst dream last night. As we all know, life is created by the simple interaction of matter and energy, thereby PROVING that God doesn’t exist, and we don’t have to believe in Him. For years, atheists like you and I have slept comfortably in the knowledge that [...]

The theme of last night’s Ritalin Readings (which was so awesome, and good job team) was “Christmas.” So naturally, I did a google search for “Christmas in Heaven.” Because I wanted to see what was up with that. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, depending on your feelings towards Jesus, there were A MILLION HITS. Most of [...]

Dear God,
Last week when I went to the Social Security Office to get my replacement card, you saw fit to make there be a one-billion hour long line on the one day that I was traveling without reading material or iPod. So fuck you on that one. If you remember correctly, I turned right around [...]

Okay, so after Jesus was resurrected, he either ascended right away during dinner? OR he hung around doing some adjunct teaching for another 40 days?
I just think either explanation makes the whole ordeal kind of upsetting. Like, as soon as you get over the fact that your buddy, Jesus, is back to life after what? [...]

6:57 AM: Anna’s body was loaded onto a private jet to take her to the Bahamas. I wonder if they’re going to pour a glass of champagne over the coffin at takeoff.
9:27 AM: Donald Trump called in to the Don Imus show this morning to talk about Howard K. Stern being a “loser.” Who [...]

Inside joke!
Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside joke! Inside [...]

You can’t seriously be telling me that rubbing cocaine on your gums makes them numb because it floods your gums with serotonin?
On what day, of the seven, did God create the Kraken?

There has been a lot of buzz lately about NBC’s Heroes, almost all of it surely generated by NBC’s crack publicity department, but so be it. I never watch shows out of order, which is why this new thing of being able to watch shows on the internet is a great boon for the networks, [...]