Archive for the 'yuck' Category

This Is Some Strong Wheat Grass For Your Mind Muscles

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

As someone who only lifts diamond chandeliers on filaments of platinum while wearing gym shorts made out of hand-tamped gold leaf with ruby and emerald trim (no shirt, of course) and quenching my POWER thirst with baby-protein infused angel-tear smoothies, this article about homemade gyms in Haiti was shocking to me:
Technique is one thing [...]

There Are Only Three Certainties In Life: Death, Taxes, and Jay Mohr Being Horrible and Maybe a Little Bit Racist

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Um, excuse me:

Yeah, I’m funnier than Jay Mohr. You know who else is funnier than Jay Mohr? Everyone. Everyone is funnier. That lady who takes pictures of Sudan babies to pay for her loft is funnier than Jay Mohr. And that’s just Jay Mohr. Let’s not even get into Jay Mohr on the subject of [...]

Nose Cancer

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Speaking of bodies that are wonderlands, last night I was walking down the street when I felt a bloody nose coming on. It’s the dry season, so between that and ALL THAT COCAINE I LOVE TO PARTY, I was not particularly concerned. Besides, I had a couple napkins in my back pocket. I used the [...]

Here’s What We Need: Some Way to Associate Our Low Fares with Worn Out Vaginas Using a Tired Reference from a Hackneyed (Albeit Popular) Teen Sex Movie from the Late 90s, BUT HOW?

Monday, December 3, 2007

Dear Spirit Airlines,
Gross, dude.

Truth in Advertising!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Meanwhile: vagiamond dentata joke.

Earn Your Degree in Angelina Jolie at Night

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Angelina Jolie’s face stars in Beowulf:

(superfacial.com)
Ha log10. God, i wish that was her real body. Not for sexual reasons, I’m not turned on by CalTech School for the Digital Arts cable access commercials of reaching your potential, but for comedy reasons. Then again, for comedy reasons I wish that was Bruce Villanch’s body.

And now, some [...]

People Magazine Has a Very Broad Definition of the Word Fun

Monday, October 22, 2007

(People)

Oh, Look Who It Is!

Friday, September 21, 2007

(New York Times)

Open for Buzzness! Boo.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Now, I don’t have an M.B.A. You won’t see me glad-handing with the titans of industry aboard my private jet en route to a convention for expanding market technologies to give the keynote address on maximizing shareholder value. But I think I know the answer to this one! Is it: by keeping them away from [...]

Who Fucked Roger Rabbit?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I was trying to figure out how to categorize Perez Hilton’s new look:

(mtv.com)
Then I was all, oh, right, Cartoon Rapist.
Clarification: a Cartoon Rapist is someone who rapes cartoons, not an animated depiction of a rapist, which would look more like a real rapist but with less color density.

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