I used lots of sweet butter, 4 lemons, 4 free range eggs, white sugar, white flour and cream. I made the crust in the usual way cutting the butter into the sugar and flour, adding just enough water to bring it together into a soft pastry. I rolled it out, put it into my pie dish and placed it in a hot oven to partially cook. I grated the rind off the lemons, squeezed out all their juice and beat them up with the eggs, sugar and cream. I took the partially cooked pie shell out of the oven, poured in the filling, turned the oven down to medium and put it back in.
After a reasonable amount of time I checked it and then again a bit later. The filling still had not set. So I poured a glass of wine and grabbed my laptop to read one of my favourite blogs. I followed one of the links to a scathing review of. At that precise moment I smelt burning. NOOO. I pressed the cancel button on the oven as I opened it. The lemon tart was spouting flames, I stared at like a dumbstruck deer in the car headlights, I toyed with the idea of picking the tart up and taking it outside in the hopes the flames would somehow die down but instead decided the flames were too big and with my luck I would probably set myself on fire as well. Then the fire alarm started screeching. I slammed the oven door shut.
Black smoke was everywhere. I opened the kitchen door then noticed the oven was going into panic mode issuing digital readout instructions telling me to turn off the power. One quick flip of the switch in the fuse box and the screeching stopped. The stove was silenced but black smoke still filled up the house. I decided, as I ran around opening the rest of the doors and windows, that I needed a great big fan.
Downstairs again I opened the oven door to see the flames had almost gone. Using oven mitts I picked up the pie blew out the last of the fire and took it outside onto the deck. It was charred black.
When everything was back to normal, I went back outside to examine it. I found I could scrape off the char with a spoon, underneath was a delicious looking, deep yellow, lemony filling. I carved a piece off the edge. It taste divine.